Posted by: mostwanted | Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Alternative Teachings of Zen Part Deux

Some of you might remember Part One collection of these quirky, funny, random and logical thoughts that I had posted on my blog a couple years back.

Well I’m back again with Part Two, here goes nothing:-

* Whenever you find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

* To Err is human, but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

* The road to success … Is always busy with traffic and/or under heavy construction.

* All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

* Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

* Everyone has a scheme of getting rich … Which never works or rather involves no work. 😛

* If at first you don’t succeed. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

* Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

* As soon as you mention something: If it is good, it is taken. If it is bad, it happens to you.

* He who has the gold, makes the rules – Murphy’s Golden Rule. 🙂

* If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late … well the bus is still late. Not sure if thats a good thing or bad. :S

* Once you have bought something, you will often find the same item being sold elsewhere at a cheaper price.

* When in a queue at a bank or checkout, the other line always seems to move faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

* If you move to the “faster” line, it will be slow while your previous line moves thru faster.

* If you have paper, you don’t got a pen. If you have a pen, you don’t got paper. If you have both though, no one calls.

* Especially for Uni students: only the class you decide to bunk, the professor will have attendance taken on that particular day.

* If you have been waiting or expecting, the door bell or your cell phone always rings when you happen to in the bathroom.

* Irrespective of the direction of the wind, at any given time, the smoke from nearby cigarette smokers will always tend to go in the non-smokers direction.

* Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether/which you need more. (more friends or more money?)

* There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the correct side.

* An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound very confusing. 😀

* Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is NOT one of them.

* Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. haha

* When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

* Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

* Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking or around.

* Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY. Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS.

* And lastly, everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!

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