Posted by: mostwanted | Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Several Different Methods on How to Catch & Kill a Lion!! :)

First of all I hope everyone had a good Christmas and in general is having a good holiday season.

Ok ok back to the post:

How to Catch a Lion?

Ø Newtonian Method: Let, the lion catch you. “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Implying you caught lion.

Ø Einstein’s Method: Run in the opposite direction of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity the lion will run faster and get tired sooner. Then you can trap it easily.

Ø Software Engineer’s Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven it to be a lion. If anyone objects or comes back with issues, tell them you will upgrade it to a lion free of charge.

Ø Indian Police Method: Catch any animal, interrogate & torture it until it accepts that it’s a Lion.

And now, How to Kill a Lion?

Ø Govinda Method: Continuously dance before the lion for 6 or 7 days. The lion will die of shear boredom and hatred for Gopi.

Ø Rajnikanth Method: Keep warning the lion that you may attack it at anytime. The lion will live in fear and will soon die of fear itself.

Ø Ramarajan Method: Remove the make-up and put it over the lion. The lion will die notwithstanding all the heavy weight.

Ø Manirathnam (director) Method: Make sure the lion does not get any sunlight. So put the lion in a dark room with a single lit candle. Keep murmuring nonsense in its ears. The lion will become highly irritated and commit suicide.

Ø Karan Johar (director) Method: Send a lioness into the forest. The lion will fall in
love with the lioness. Send another lioness into the forest, followed by another lion. The first lion still loves the first lioness and the second lion will start loving the second lioness. But the second lioness will fall in love with both the lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don’t understand right? ok….the lions dont either and will kill each other over misunderstanding!

Ø Yash Chopra (director) Method: Take the lion to a foreign location such as Europe or Canada or Australia.. and kill it in a scenic location while filming a song.

Ø Menaka Gandhi Method: Save the lion from endangerment and feed him continuously with vegetables only. The lion will be pissed off, refuse to eat and die of starvation.

Ø Jayalalitha Method: Send the Police Commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM to kill it while it’s sleeping!

Ø George Bush Method: Link the lion with Osama bin Laden and have him shot at Gitmo!

Ø Rahul Dravid Method: Ask the lion to bowl to you. Then you bat for 200 balls and score merely 1 run. The lion will become extremely aggitated, then go insane and die shortly.

BONUS Methods:

Ø BwT Method: Ask the lion to release some mp3s via torrents. Leechers demand for 25 screenshots and 15 samples. Lion fails to comply and gets warning points. Move his release to Low quality section and accuse him of cheating the users and wasting their bandwidth. Lion feels guilty and makes another release to compensate. Peers accuse him of not seeding the previous release. Forcing the lion to invite his lioness to the site. Ban the lioness for spamming the forum while defending the lion (pride) and delete the lion’s invites. Lion goes mad and commits suicide.

Ø DT Method: Ask the lion to make a movie release. Make 1000 users leech the movie and run away. Make another 100 newbies post in the thread asking for reseed and complain about no audio/video/sync. Make the lion reseed continously for 3 more weeks and make another 2000 users to download the movie and run away. After a month, lion sees 3514 completes and 0 seeds. Lion goes mad and commits suicide.

Problem solved! 😀

Lastly Quote of the Week: “Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” ~Robert Heinlein


  1. Very interesting site… I wish I could build one like yours!nancy

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