- You have at least 1 relative in the stock market.

- You’re never worried about what happens if you get stranded in Ghatkopar. All you’d have to do, you know, is walk across the road and find a relative. (Still easier, just shout, “Mama! Masi! Faiba! Kaka!” a couple of times. At least one is bound to be around.)

- You don’t worry about being stranded in New Jersey. You’ve been told by everyone that the thing to do at such a time is to open the telephone directory, turn to “Shah” or “Patel” and call any number for help.

- You measure the success of a wedding by how many people praised the food.

- You believe Narendra Modi is the solution to everything. From your hair to the nation’s defence .

- You understand that when someone says “Dhirajbhai no babo” or “Maniben ni baby”, the “baba” and “baby” in question could be 40 years old.

- You either think the garba is the coolest thing ever, or you wonder why the whole world makes such a big deal out of it.

- No packing for any trip is complete without thepla.

- Winter = undhiyu.

- Summer = keri no ras.

- Monsoon = have su karvanoo?! kai na sujhe to bhajiya sutarwana …

- You assume (in marital situations) that because Mara bhai na vevai ni dikri na sasu gave a recommendation, the person in question is virtue personified.

- You have no problems with love marriages. You just view them as a last resort, that’s it.

- You may not donate anything to the orphanage down the road, but when there’s a calamity in Gujarat, you send truckloads of money, food and amenities.

- You feel a slight sense of pride in Ketan Parekh, no matter how much you hide it.

- You think the G-U-J-J-U sequence in Kal Ho Na Ho was rather cool, actually.

- You’re so attuned to smiling and laughing for no reason at any given social occasions, that funerals become odd for you. (Non-Gujju funerals, that is. At Gujju funerals, everyone has the same problem, so they understand.)

- Sunday mornings = Gathiya and jalebi.

- If you go on a picnic, everyone brings atleast 10 foods each, which is bound to include dhokla, kachori, chewro, thepla, mathia, fafda and maybe 3-4 different athanas and fried green chillies…

- After a heavy picnic lunch, all the men say, “chalo round maarine aavye”.